Logon: Making a wood stove hot

Logoff: Too Much Wood On The Fire

Monitor: Keepin' An Eye On The Woodstove

Download: Gittin The Firewood Off'n The Truck

MEGA HERTZ: When your not careful gettin the firewood

Floppy Disc: what you get from tryin' to tote too much firewood

RAM: That thang what you use to split the firewood

Hard Drive: Gittin home in the winter time

Windows: What to shut when it's cold outside

Screen: What to shut when it's black fly season

Byte: What them damned flies do

Chip: Munchies for the TV

Micro-Chip: What's in the bottom of the munchie bag

Modem: What you did to the hay fields

Dot Matrix: Dan Matrix's old lady

LapTop: Where the kitty sleeps

Keyboard: Where you hang the truck keys

Software: Damned plastic forks and knives

Mouse: What eats the grain in the barn

Mouse Pad: Biker talk for where the mouse hangs his hat

Mainframe: Holds up the barn roof

Port: Fancy wine for people in 4-wheelers

Enter: Yankee talk for "Y'all come on in"

Click: What you hear when you cock your gun

Double-Click: When you cock the double barrel

Reboot: What you do right before bedtime,
when it's time to go to the outhouse